Autumnal Granada is simply stunning. In fact it's very similar to how England SHOULD be at this time of year: golden-brown leaves litter the parks and pavements, the sun shines in a cloudless, perfect blue sky and the fresh mountain air from the Sierra Nevada is nothing short of invigorating. Although at the time when I'm up during the week it's nothing short of freezing, (1.5 degrees on Tuesday morning...) I've missed my winter jackets and scarves: it's nice to know that I can get them out again. Moreover Christmas decorations are shooting up everywhere and El Corte Ingles is already fully kitted out, stocked up and raring to go for the festive season- much like myself, as only 16 days remain until I fly home to spend the holidays with family and friends. There is, however, one slight hitch...
Lately, I've been feeling like my Spanish has hit something of a rough patch, with a few more off days than I'm happy with. I've been through spells like this before, and I'm sure many others have too. For the non-linguistically-initiated, on occasions of this kind I struggle to string together anything vaguely coherent- too many uncertain pauses, hesitation. Nothing flows as it should: you often feel as if you can't remember the simplest word, phrase or conjugation to make your point. Engaging native speakers in a foreign language, I've found, requires you to constantly be prepared to step into the breach. You have to be prepared to make mistakes, like in any area of life, in order to improve. I recently read a personal coaching column on this very subject- perseverance.
It's safe to say that I take myself too seriously at times. Many times have I been told that I'm too hard on myself, expecting too much too soon- not only in academic pursuits but also in athletics and also other things, like relationships. Inevitably such an 'all-or-nothing' approach more often than not sets you up for disappointment- such as my extensive history of injury problems on the one hand, and also being constantly single on the other! As Language Assistants, before going on placement much of our preparatory correspondence with the British Council encouraged us to be patient with our students, many of whom had just started bilingual education and had never before studied a foreign language. That's all fine, but I'd also add a footnote, encouraging all LA's to be patient with themselves too. We're not going to become qualified teachers overnight, and there'll be plenty of stumbling blocks to overcome even after you've fully settled on your placement. Furthermore I think a great many people would benefit from treating themselves as they ideally treat others, at times.
What I mean is this: whenever we learn a new skill, be it academic, linguistic or an important life skill like driving, we also temporarily practice a far more important quality before forgetting all about it upon achieving mastery of that skill. I'm talking about perseverance. Think of a toddler learning to walk for the first time: more often than not it's a fairly simplistic process of stand up, walk a few steps, fall down, be picked up by Mum or Dad, and repeat until successful. We know the toddler will eventually get it right so we encourage it to keep trying. If only we all talked to ourselves like this! More often than not our default response is to continually mull over where we believe we went wrong, castigating ourselves for making the simplest slip-up and being afraid to get back on the metaphorical bike. Hopefully by now you can see what I'm getting at!
I'm sure that I am not alone in having experienced a fair amount of tough times, setbacks and rough patches over the years. What's important is not over-analysing what you believe to be going wrong, rather sticking at it and knowing that sooner or later you'll come through it. One thing I've found is that the Year Abroad can be mentally taxing at times, being almost force-fed the target language all day, every day and also having to think five or six words ahead in conversation. With me this also makes the time I get to spend with myself precious, whether that be a night in my flat at the weekends, going out for a run or down to the track or gym to train. It allows me time to collect my thoughts and gives me clarity, along with being an outlet for any built-up nervous energy that's accumulated throughout the day. Taking time to look after yourself is something I'd always recommend to anyone at anytime, but in this type of situation it's importance is paramount.
Ultimately the Year Abroad is a shared experience- not only among those going away on it, but also our families, friends and administrative staff at our various universities who are all involved in logistical planning, financial and even emotional support when needed. And I believe the fact that this year is such a major operation is the best way any language student can get through any sticky periods- by remembering the bigger picture and the countless others who are more than likely in the same position as you, a fact I remembered during a phone-call from Trent recently- moreover it's a very strange thought that things in Nottingham continue as usual, and there are a lot of times when I need to remind myself that I'm out here for university purposes: but importantly without the pressure of having to get at least a 2:1 in every essay, presentation and exam that I constantly put on myself. In fact, my sister often tells me that she thinks I must enjoy putting pressure on myself to do better, and I don't hesitate to agree with her. Lucky, as she'd have some stern words otherwise!
There's a saying 'This too shall pass' and I'm convinced I'll get my confidence back in due course- maybe as early as next week. In this kind of situation it's important to focus on the things you've already accomplished: moving abroad, surrounding yourself with people who don't speak your native language, spending hours in the foreign office and bank to complete the relevant paperwork and then the 12 hours a week you are required to spend entertaining and engaging with your students and the planning of the weeks' lessons, to say nothing of the impressions you need to leave with other members of staff and people in your immediate social circle. It's no wonder many of us need a break or have a down period once in a while- we're only human after all, and no one can perform at 100 percent all day every day without breaking down, either physically or suffering a mental dip, or even complete burnout. Proof of this for me has come in the past week, although on the brighter side, it's given me time to consider the causes of this self-induced pressure and appreciate every opportunity that comes my way.
I'm lucky to have got the balance right so far and am loving every minute that I'm spending out here. Though I can't lie about being seriously excited to fly home for the holidays in 16 days' time. I think one of the most important things university life has taught me so far is to not see everything as one enormous, insurmountable challenge, but rather break it down into smaller chunks. In terms of the Year Abroad, I'd say it's much the same. Upon arriving at your placement, the numerous administrative procedures can seem overwhelming, but if you draw up a plan of action then you'll be much better served in the long run. But remember to relax and, crucially again, don't be afraid to make mistakes. It's how we respond to these mistakes that defines whether the experience has been a success or not, and that comes back to perseverance.
And on that note it's time to sign off. Good luck with whatever challenges come your way this week, and since everyone seems to be talking about Star Wars at the moment, may The Force be with you!
*Edit: For any who studied my previous blog on the lack of British coaches in Spain's La Liga and the perceived problems adapting to a foreign culture, you'd be interested to know that Gary Neville has been named the new head coach of Valencia C.F., replacing the wonderfully named Nuno Espirito Santo, and joining his brother Philip who was already working as assistant coach at Los Che. The Nevilles will be hoping that the Big Man is indeed on their side in Gary's first head coaching role. On this sensational development Guillem Balague says: 'What a brilliant move. We are talking about two guys who could have made a career in England at the top end of the scale, but instead they are stepping out of their comfort zone, go to Valencia and try to impress in a foreign country.' High praise indeed, and exactly what my previous blog, Lessons Being Learned tries to encourage. Let's see how the Nevilles fare!*
'We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet along the way. Appreciation is a wonderful feeling. Don't overlook it.'- Unknown
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